Tea with a Rubber Ducky

So this past weekend, Grace, Emma and I had an opportunity to go to tea with some ladies and a few of their friends from our church.  I had not been to high tea in Hong Kong yet, so we were looking forward to it.  It started around 3:30pm, so we left around 1:45 since we were taking the MTR, meeting friends on a platform at 2:30pm.  Tea was in the city, so it was farther than we normally travel, but interestingly enough, the restaurant was in the same hotel we went to with the kids last May on one of our house hunting trips...so there was definitely some nostalgia and thoughts of "last year at this time..." and "look at all that has happened over the year". It's a beautiful hotel right on Victoria Harbour on the Kowloon side, and we had heard that the restaurant had a good view.

In related events, there is this giant rubber ducky that a Dutch man created in New Zealand and is traveling around the world to promote peace and happiness.  Apparently it is all the rage, as the ducky just floated into Victoria Harbour in the past week.  Andy's local associates keep asking him if he has taken his kids to see it yet. We hadn't really heard much about it since we don't really follow, or understand, local news (in Cantonese). But, Grace and Emma had heard about it at school, and since they knew we were by the water in that particular hotel, they asked if they could get up from their seats to look out the windows. The restaurant was pretty vacant, and we were still waiting for some friends, so I said sure.  Lo and behold, the rubber ducky is right outside the window! And in true Hong Kong form, there are THOUSANDS of people lined up to see and take pictures of the duck.  I think I was more amazed by the crowds than the duck itself. The duck is scheduled to be here until the first week of June, but everyone in Hong Kong feels the need to see it first.  And it was remarkable that we had such a great view...by accident!

I'm not sure if the girls remember the tea or the duck more, but regardless, they had a great time. And I walked out with a full stomach...which was shocking to me.  Little tea sandwiches, scones and sweets do fill you up. All in all, we had a wonderful afternoon with great friends, great food, and a great view!

Busy Saturday School Day!!!

This past Saturday we had a school day where each of the older four children needed to be at school for a different reason.  Abby and all of the kindergarten (preschoolers 3yrs and 4yrs)  had the spring performance in which she had been practicing for us at home for months!  Joshua, and the rest of P1 (US kindergarten) grade 1&2, had an open house so that parents who were at the spring performance could come and check out what their children will be doing next year.  Grades 3 (Emma) - grade 5 had a swim gala, and the middle school had their academic fair.  Whew!  It was a lot to keep straight in my head since they all needed to report to school at different times.  And in true Hong Kong fashion, it was stressed that attendance was mandatory.  But hind sight is 20/20, and next year I think I will have the olders sit and watch their little sister:)

We took two taxi trips to the school.  Shift #1 was myself, Joshua and Emma. After I dropped them off, it was my job to stand in line to get into the theatre for Abby's performance.  There was an advantage to having been there early, because I was first in line:) But those of you who know me expected that, right? About 30 minutes later, shift #2 was Andy, Abby and Grace.  After Andy dropped the other two off, he floated to see if he could see Emma swim before he joined me.  And yes, we chose to leave Sarah at home with Marina.  While I love when we can do things together as a big family, she is a much happier baby when she can nap in her own bed.

When Andy finally joined me, there was a line of about 75 people. And to be discussed later, lines in Hong Kong are not the most organized, or followed, without elbows out, so I was glad to be in the front.  Abby's performance was, as expected, absolutely adorable!  When you watch 3 and 4 year olds sing two verses of Amazing Grace and a scripture song from Joshua 1:9, with movements included, it just melts your heart.  She had such a wonderful time.  And it still causes me to pause and give thanks, during events like these, that my daughter is the only western girl (one boy) in her class, and yet, it has never phased her.  This was definitely a concern of mine when we chose this school(protective mother instincts), but it has been such an amazing experience for all of my children and we feel it will serve them for the rest of their lives to experience being in the minority.

After the performance, we collected Abby, checked out the end of Grace's academic fair, peeked in on Emma, and went to observe Josh's class. It was finally 12:00pm when we finished our morning and had the security office call our taxi.  As usual, taxis are a crap shoot for us.  Sometimes one of us (me or Andy) can jump in the front and distract the driver enough that they don't really notice that five others are sliding in the back seat.  Many times, it is dependent on how quiet our youngers are, so we often prep them before the taxi arrives.  Luckily for us, this was a good day, and we were able to take one taxi home.

While it is a bit of a pain to wake up on a Saturday morning for school, I have to say that it is a small price to pay for what our weekends usually look like here...family centered, swimming and/or hiking, with no yard work (no yard), and Andy's home and not traveling.  Yes, we will take the challenging changes because they come with positives, as well.

                                                       Abby in her spring performance

                                               
                                              Emma with her friends - on the green team!

                                                   
                                                  Grace and her partner for academic fair

Our Family Trip to the Philippines...Part 3

While it was important for me to write stories and experiences from our trip to the Philippians right away so I didn't forget, I wondered what was going to stick with me as I reflected over the past days, and weeks.  Well, there has been several take-aways, but one that continues to come up is that of contentment.

This is an issue that I often wrestle with...sometimes I fail, and sometimes I overcome. Over the last several years, the Lord has brought it to my attention and allowed me to see specific triggers in my own life that cause discontentment.  And even since I have been in Hong Kong, these triggers have changed. For example, I generally don't struggle with clothes or being "in" with the latest fashion...unless I have catalogs at my house. When I am going through catalogs and seeing all the things I don't have, that is when I become discontent with my wardrobe.  Or more often, it is my children's wardrobes that I feel the need to replenish.  Well, here in Hong Kong, I do not get catalogs. And if I'm honest, Hong Kong fashion is not really my style.  But, put me in a group of ladies who are talking about their latest trip, and that is where the green monster comes out.  Traveling is a big deal here...people go to Bali, Phuket, Boracay, Australia...yes, some amazing places.  But where our family is in life, and what we are called to, this is not how we are living.  That is not to say we are not going to travel, but I really want to have a heart that is content and thankful with where we are now...in Hong Kong, and remember how amazing it is to be here.

So, when we got back from our time in Manila, and seeing first hand the unimaginable poverty, one can't help but feel thankful and content with where we are and what we have been given.  But something bothered me about this.  And I finally figured it out...why should it take being around such dire circumstances for me to have a heart of gratitude and a deeper sense of contentment? I have clung to a quote by Eugene Peterson that states, "comparison is the root of discontentment." And I think that even comparing ourselves against things that "look" less, does not bring us to contentment. In Philippians 4, Paul states that he has learned to be content in all circumstances...in need and in plenty.  Because it states that he "learned" this, I believe that it is a discipline...not just an innate skill.  So what is my action plan? How am I going to practice contentment more often, especially now that it has been brought to my attention, yet again?

Well, it just so happens that my pastor just gave a message on this topic...so I will share these applications that I plan to use in my own life:

1. Connect more and compare less...not just rely on social media to reach out, and therefore see other's best, but genuinely seek other's out.
2. Rejoice more and reject less. It was brought to my attention that the only proper response to God's blessings, yours or anyone else's, is to rejoice.
3. Store more and hoard less. I need to keep in mind that the only thing worth storing are things that are eternal. So am I storing treasures in heaven, or am I hoarding that which is temporary?

So these are my self-imposed challenges. Sorry for the "deeper, less story-like" post. But I thought the last public writing of our trip should be a bit more reflection and lesson focused....so I don't forget:)
                                          

                                           Sisters reading during the hot afternoon (90's all week)

                                           Our entire group

                                            Our family

                                            Fun photo of the kids

Our Family Trip to the Philippines...Part 2

So I am finding it hard to be home and not think of the people we met, and the things we saw and experienced in the Philippines. One of the most prominent things in my mind are the feedings we were able to help out with. Let me explain...

K.I.M. (Kids International Ministry) locates a squatter village through a local pastor who contacts them with the need.  Squatter villages are areas where people who don't own there own land/home go and build shelter for themselves. K.I.M. provides soup-like mixture that has extra protein...which is what many of these children are missing in their diet.  They also hand out "protein packs" which are the dried version of what they are getting at the feeding  Sometimes these people have been displaced by typhoons, and therefore areas have been set aside for them...we went to a village like this called Tent City.  It was out in the country, and there was NO SHADE.  This is crucial when it is in the 90's, so they built structures just for shade.

Another squatter village we went to was called Smoky Mountain. This area was enormous and located on the biggest trash dump in Manila.  People have settled there to live off the trash...whether they find what they need to survive, or if they find something valuable they can sell it.  This place was definitely an eye opener.  It may be the dirtiest place I have ever been.  Yet, the people were so kind and receptive to our coming. They enjoyed talking to us...many of them knew English.  Andy talked to several young men, while I conversed with a lot of young women and little girls who could not get enough of Sarah.  She was sleeping undercover in the carrier for most of the time, but when she woke up, it was like moths to a flame! Josh played a makeshift volleyball game with some of the boys, Abby hung out with me or stayed on Andy's shoulders, and Grace and Emma blew up balloons to pass out.

One of the reasons I appreciated these feedings is that K.I.M. does a good job of connecting their support to the local church.  They don't just go in and "save the day" They want people to know that Jesus loves them and the best way to connect them with that love is to connect them with their local church.  It is amazing to see how many people we would get at these feedings.  I think we served at least 100 children at almost every feeding...many times there were even more. It's hard to experience this and not try to think about fixing this problem.  These little ones who have no shoes, looking at you with their big brown eyes and say thank you for their two scoops of soup, the only meal whey will have that day...what do you say to that? I don't know. We also couldn't get over how small some of these children were.  Now, Filipinos do not have a lot of height genes in their pool, but Josh's buddy, who was just a little shorter than him, was 9 years old.  Several of the little girls who were Abby's age, looked like they were 2 years old.  And many of them thought Sarah was at least 1yr.

 So I will continue to ponder and wrestle with so many questions.  It's interesting to me because about two years ago I went on a vision trip to another very poor country to see how micro financing works there.  Just being there a few days and you can't get past the pride and dignity these people had because they were able to start their own business.  I don't know if this is an answer in the Philippines.  I am just thankful that there are people there who are trying to love these people and provide their immediate needs

On a more comical note...driving in the Philippines was an adventure to say the least.  I asked Andy how this compares to what he has seen in his travels (Mexico, India, China, ect) and he said that it was at least as bad as he had ever seen.  At one point, we were making a left turn through four lanes of traffic.  I believe the most important rule is that you do not hesitate...take your space and go. I also am sharing a picture of a jeepney...it is kind of a cross between a taxi and a bus...interesting.  We did not ride in one this time...maybe when we go back?



                                                   
                                                       Kids at Tent City in their shade

                                   Beautiful children :) They loved getting their pic taken.

                                                
                                                         Some of the women we met.

                                      A jeepney...many times there is someone off the back.

Our Family Trip to the Philippines - Part 1

When we moved to Hong Kong, I knew there would be opportunities to travel around Asia.  This is obviously exciting to us, but Andy and I both feel convicted that we need to make the most of these opportunities, and thus, our first priority was to find ways that we can make an impact, be impacted, and serve.  We are very blessed to find those opportunities through our children's school. So in the fall,  Andy took the older three to Cebu, Philippines for a short 4 day missions trip over American Thanksgiving.  They had an amazing time and wanted to go back.  So this past week, we did an entire family trip to do missions in the city of Manila.  Yes, all seven of us, plus our helper, ventured off to Manila for a six day trip.  We were in a group of 30 plus other parents, teachers, and students age 7-17. We brought our helper not only so I could be more available and involved, but she was able to see family...a wonderful chance to bless her.

This was definitely a step of faith for this momma.  To take my little ones to a place where there is extreme poverty definitely stretched me.  But God is so good and we had a life-changing week. We worked and stayed with a ministry called K.I.M. (Kids International Ministry). They have made a huge impact in two different communities in the Philippines...one in Manila and one on the island of Midanao.  They have a children's home (orphanage), do weekly feedings to several squatter communities, set up a Christian school, a medical center, a girls' home, and build homes for needy families in the community....it is an amazing organization. Our family did a lot of painting, feeding, handing out toys, and playing with kids, as well as building relationships with many of the teens who were on the trip.

Along with helping out the mission, we experienced a lot of Manila.  We went to a mega church, discovered the Mall of Asia (built to be compared to Mall of America... one of the biggest malls in Asia), and toured the Manila American Cemetery and Memorial (very powerful!!!). Of course we couldn't pass up some Krispy Kreme, either:)

So processing this trip has been in layers...and I imagine it will continue to do so for quite some time.  Nothing can really prepare you for the poverty before you.  But in the midst of the unimaginable conditions, we still saw joy in many of their eyes.  Only Christ can give that kind of joy...that kind of peace...that kind of hope. So over the next few posts, I will be sharing stories, thoughts, and lessons I have learned over this past week.  Of course, I will also post some pics.

 

                                                     We got to meet Marina's husband!

                                       Painted Easter eggs with kids from the children's home

                                            Served food aside older classmates at feedings

                                                            Talked to lots of kids

Our Helper...Part 2

As I shared in my last post, our helper, Marina, has been a huge blessing for us.  We feel very strongly that the Lord led us to Marina...and Marina to us. It was definitely a process coming to the decision of hiring a helper, and now that she is here, there have been many mixed emotions in this process that I did not anticipate.

First, there was (and if I'm honest, still) the guilt. Marina has five children and a husband in the Philippines.  Her youngest is 8 years old. It pains me to think that she has to be away from her family for so long...and that we get her time, love and attention.  I see the way she looks at my children and interacts with them, and I know that she misses her own children dearly.  There is also a fine line between asking her about her family...I certainly don't want to make it harder for her.  But I also have to remember that she has chosen to do this out of her love for her family...regardless of whether she is working for us or another employer.  It's with this thought that eases my guilt and blesses me because we have the opportunity to make this a great situation for her.  We get the chance to show her respect, appreciation, compassion and gratitude.  And we told her from the beginning that she is part of our family...so love is a critical component.

There is also the kind of guilt that says, "look at all she is doing...the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking...you used to do that...now what do you do?"  And this is where that luxury vs. necessity question comes into play.  This part of her job...the main part, I suppose...is definitely a luxury.  I certainly don't deny that.  But, it's also a huge reason  why I can love my family well.  I get to go to bed at a decent time and get the sleep I need.  I get to help my children with their homework and they get to have my undivided attention up to dinner time.  And we can begin the "going to bed" rituals earlier, ensuring they get the sleep they need.  On top of that, our weekends are not full of catch up work, and my husband and I get the date nights we need to stay connected.  So I am trying to put the guilt behind me and enjoy this season that we are in.  After all, it is a season, and it will be over before I know it.

I also hope that through my posts you have discovered that living in Hong Kong is VERY different, and we spend a lot of time on public transportation.  I think my greatest appreciation for Marina has to be with Sarah.  Since Marina came to live with us, I have not had to schlepp around with my baby all around Hong Kong.  She can have a routine.  I don't have to wake her up from her naps or take her out into the rain to pick up her sister. 

Now, it does come with it's special challenges.  We try to keep open communication so things don't get lost in translation.  But there have only been a few times where she has misunderstood what I have said, or vice versa. And she does a great job of giving us our space.  I wasn't sure if this was going to be a problem.  But she usually has some time in the afternoon and if she's not watching the kids, she "retires" to her room around 7:30.  We told her from the get-go that we are "hands-on" parents...we like to put them to bed and get them on the bus in the morning.  While I kind of feel bad that she spends so much time in her room...especially in the evening...I know that she is tired(physically and of us!) and probably needs her along time, too.

So before you decide that having a helper has nothing to do with survival...let me explain how my Friday afternoon works.  At 2:45, Marina, Sarah, Abby and I take a taxi about 15minutes to one MTR station so we can get into another taxi to go another 10 minutes to the kids school. Before we get there, I have to explain (and pray the driver understands some English) that we are just stopping at the school to pick up my son, and then we are going back to Tai Po.  So far, this has not been an issue.  We pull up to the school, I pop out and find Emma and Josh.  We rush back to the taxi where Sarah, Abby and Marina are still in the back seat.  I confirm that the driver knows where Hong Lok Yuen is located, get my stroller out of the "boot", get Sarah from Marina, and get Josh in the taxi...all making sure that everyone has the appropriate baggage.  Then, Sarah, Emma and I go get on the train close to the kids school because she has gymnastics two stops up on the MTR, starting at 4:10.  Meanwhile, Marina, Josh and Abby go home, Josh changes into his soccer attire, and the three of them walk to his practice which starts at 4:00.  Abby gets to play on the playground, Marina watches Josh for an hour, and then the three of them walk home.  Emma's gymnastics class runs anywhere between 5:45 and 6, and then we take a 25 min taxi ride home. And when I get home, Grace has made it home from school, eaten, and left for soccer...and dinner is on the table. And somewhere in the midst of this, Andy has gotten home. Yes, it is as exhausting as it sounds, but I am so thankful that it is possible because we have Marina:)

                                           Yes, it has been warm enough to go swimming

                                             Sarah, Marina and Abby having a conversation

                                                       Josh wanted to help with the windows

                                                      I'm not sure who was more wet after
                                                      bathtime?

Our Helper...Part 1

One of the most common questions we get is about our helper.  I have mentioned her in some past posts, but I thought I would finally tackle this topic.   To give you some statistics for background understanding, there are over 7 million people in Hong Kong.  About 4% of the population are domestic helpers, which accounts for almost 275,000 people.  These helpers come from the Philippines or Indonesia (about a 50/50 split), with a very small percentage coming from Thailand. While this may or may not seem like a lot of people to you, it is quite the norm here.  There are very few people that we know who do not have a helper...they are the exception, especially in the expat community.

When we first took this assignment, I have to be honest...having a helper was definitely a plus, especially in the season of life we were in.  I had never had a house cleaner, so the fact that someone would come in and not only clean, but cook, shop, laundry and watch the kids was pretty remarkable to me.  My first instinct was the blessing it would be just so I could spend more time with my husband and children.  But then, as my husband and I talked more about it, we wondered if it would impact our family time and impede on our space.  Most helpers live with you, which is actually the less expensive way to do it, otherwise you are responsible for their living accommodations and transportation. Was this really necessary or just a luxury?  We started to talk to others who had lived on this side of the world and kept getting the same message...get a helper.  While we didn't fully understand the reasoning since we hadn't experienced living here yet, we felt like it was something we should pursue.

We started getting "word of mouth" recommendations, which was very helpful.  When we were here in May, we even interviewed a couple women, but both of them needed work before we were going to be in Hong Kong.  One of the interesting things in the process was how often people said we needed 2 maybe 3 helpers.  Of course we thought this was ridiculous.  We couldn't wrap our heads around the idea of hiring two or three extra people to do jobs that I have always done on my own (or with the help of my family).  It was difficult enough to think of hiring one extra person.  But of course, we do have a larger family than most in Hong Kong...and we did get the response from employers we spoke to that our family was too large for their helper when weeding through the recommendations.  Still, we stuck to our guns.  We also decided to go through an agency.  We needed help in this process, especially doing it from the other side of the world.  It was important to us that we find someone who shared our faith, so the agency we used was given to us through a church contact and was a Christian organization.

To make a long story a little shorter, we were paired up with a woman who was still working in the Philippines and being trained by the agency to come to Hong Kong to be a domestic helper.  We were able to skype her a couple times, and finally, after all the paperwork was completed, she was able to join us the end of November.  Her name is Marina, and she has been an absolute blessing. She is a mother of five (one girl and four boys), so she didn't even flinch at our crew. While it has been a bit challenging for her (and us) that she is not as familiar with getting around Hong Kong as, say, a helper who has already lived here, she is a quick and eager learner.  And, we have both been on the same learning curve in this process...both coming without any presumptions.  We are working with a clean slate! This is something I have greatly appreciated and feel blessed by in the process. 

I will close this post with saying, yet again, that the Lord gives us what we need, even before we realize we need it.  We are so grateful for the advice given by friends, the recommendation of the agency we used, and the Lord's guidance through it all.  It was a long three months living in Hong Kong without Marina's help...and it would have been much longer if we hadn't started the process when we did, from the states. I will share in the next post of some more specifics of how this all works for us, but I wanted to share a little of what the mindset is here and how we have come to be where we are on this journey.